By Michael C. LaSala, Ph.D. LCSW
Professor and Director of the Doctorate of Social Work Program
Did you know that as a group, we social workers are a wounded bunch? Social workers are prone to low self-esteem, harsh self-criticism, (Bedford & Bedford, 1985), depressive episodes more than three times the national average (Siebert, 2004) and adverse childhood experiences (ACES>3) at 3.3 times that of the general population (Thomas, 2016). In a study of 1,577 social workers, most respondents described themselves as the “good” child, the mediator, the burden bearer or the parentified child in their families-of-origin, prematurely taking on adult caretaking roles (Lackie 1983), and while this is an older study, there is good reason to believe that findings would be similar if done today. Hollis (2020) and others have talked about how those who pursue a helping profession might be metaphorically attempting to fix their families. If we were parentified in our families, we likely took great pride in this role, while at the same time believed that our very survival depended on it. However, we also suffered as our own development was sacrificed in the service of attempting to heal our families. If, as a child, the clinician was only valued when they acted in accordance with a caretaking role, their self-esteem as adults may be too tied to their success in helping their clients. This puts the worker in a precarious emotional position (Lackie, 1983). In our effort to heal our families as children, we inevitably fail, which leads us to feel unconsciously guilty but also resentful about the emotional toll of these efforts. Relatedly, our clients may be stand-ins for our own families whom we could not heal—and if we are not careful, we risk not only burnout but acting out these feelings with our clients. Wow!
Full disclosure: I have experienced almost every messed-up family dynamic described by these studies as well as years of childhood bullying. Psychotherapy has helped me for sure, and I have learned the hard way not to put my self-esteem eggs in the basket of my clients’ progress. However, I find that these old issues remain ongoing; the pain of that early childhood never entirely goes away and I will likely be a lifelong work-in-progress. But rather than seeing this history as an obstacle, I have come to believe in the importance of recognizing the hidden gifts concealed in these experiences.
While everything must be done in our power to prevent parental abuse and neglect, difficult experiences can form the basis of your superpowers. If you have been bullied as a child, you know how damaging it can be, and so you understand the importance of working with schools to ensure that such behavior is not allowed and that there are programs in place to prevent it. Perhaps you have a disability, have overcome a serious illness, or have experienced severe trauma and have learned first-hand the right and wrong ways other people handle these situations. Maybe, after years of training to take care of someone in your family, you finally realized there is a limit to what you can do and must “let go,” instead helping clients (re)discover their own strengths and their own solutions. What superpowers can you glean from these experiences and share with others?
I invite you to take a piece of paper and divide it in half the long way. On the left side, list your misfortunes including mistakes your parents/caretakers have made, any abuse, neglect, violence or other hardship you have experienced, etc. On the right side, write Superpower at the top of the page and then list the valuable lessons these experiences have taught you and how you can use them in your work, whether that be practice at the individual, agency, or institutional level.
Finally, commit to never taking for granted the value of your experiences and the grace inherent in using what you have learned to help others. Happy Social Work Month.
Bedford, A., & Bedford, J. (1985). Personality and personal disturbance in social workers: A research note. The British Journal of Social Work, 15(1), 87-90. https://doi.org/10.1093/oxfordjournals.bjsw.a055062
Hollis, J. (2020). Living between worlds: Finding personal resilience in changing times. Sounds True.
Lackie, B. (1983). The families of origin of social workers. Clinical Social Work Journal, 11(4), 309-322. http://dx.doi.org/10.1007/BF00755898
Siebert, D. C. (2004). Depression in North Carolina social workers: Implications for practice and research. Social Work Research, 28(1), 30-40. https://doi.org/10.1093/swr/28.1.30
Thomas, J. T. (2016) Adverse Childhood Experiences Among MSW Students, Journal of Teaching in Social Work, 36(3), 235-255. http://dx.doi.org/10.1080/08841233.2016.1182609
