Eileen Kelly O’Brien is a trainer at the New Jersey Child Support Institute at School of Social Work's Institute for Families. She explains the significance of World Adoption Day, which is observed on November 9, and shares ways social workers and allied professionals can recognize this day.
Tell us a bit about your journey to social work.
Many years ago, I attended college to pursue a health service degree. It soon became clear to me that health services was not the right direction. I contemplated what to do next. Thankfully, a family friend headed the Mount Carmel Guild Mental Health Association and met with me to discuss the many ways social work can help people and communities. I changed my field and am proud the say that I was in the first graduating class to receive a Bachelors of Social Work (BSW) degree, from Kean University. During my course of study, I completed field placements at the Union County Youth Service Bureau and at Division of Children Services (DCS)CS, formerly known as the Division of Youth and Family Services (DYFS)_Suburban Essex. After graduation, my employment led me to a career servicing families in Union County with the Board of Social Services. In early 2005, Rutgers University was awarded a contract to start a New Jersey Child Support Institute (NJCSI) to train state and county staff, and I joined the program housed at the Institute for Families (IFF).
You might wonder how this all ties into World Adoption Day.
My husband and I were considering adoption. We started by attending a seminar to look focusing on the process of foreign adoption. Because we would be considered older parents, local adoption seemed unattainable. The seminar, with speakers representing several countries, was given by an agency called Holt International. Each country had requirements for who could adopt. Such requirements included, but were not limited to, financial status of the parent and willingness to adopt a child with special needs. We chose to adopt a child from China and asked for a three-year-old girl. China’s adoption requirements specifically stated that parents must be at least 30 years old and able to travel to China for at least 14 days. It would take approximately one year to complete the required paperwork and another year until a final match was determined. We chose to work with the Great Wall China Adoption Agency in Austin, Texas and had the home study completed by a local social work agency. The paperwork, home visits, security clearance, and approval from our adoption agency resulted in us being matched to a beautiful girl who was almost 3 years old and from Kunming City, Yunnan Province in China. Interestingly, the Chinese Center for Adoption Affairs had a matching room where you completed paperwork and the paperwork of the child are read and matched.
I left for China on May 9th, spent two weeks traveling, and brought home Claire! Because my husband had not traveled to China, a readoption was needed in New Jersey. After the New Jersey adoption, our daughter received a new birth certificate and a formal notice of name change and adoption.
Claire had a happy and fulfilling childhood, and she has met many children from China, some who were adopted and some who were not. I have always tried to make sure that Claire knows about and appreciates her Chinese culture, and I encouraged her to attend a Chinese culture camp during the summer. We have always aimed to celebrate family day, Chinese New Year, harvest festivals, and any other celebrations.
I learned much about the meaning of certain Chinese celebrations and beliefs. For instance, there is an East Asian belief that an invisible red thread connects people who are destined to be together. That red thread must have connected my husband and me to Claire. It also connected the three of us to another family, who started the adoption process at the same my husband and I did. Our daughters attended the Chinese culture camp together, and we celebrated some of the Chinese holidays together.
Years later, our family grew larger by the sudden passing of that friend, who had adopted as a single mother, and Emma joined our family at 13 years old. Emma has adjusted, but there were obstacles with her mother’s sudden passing, such as there being no will or guardianship papers. These are details that every adoptive family should address. Claire and Emma are quite different, like most siblings, but they share a common heritage and adoption story. Through everything, we have come together as a happy family!
How can the Social Work community recognize and commemorate World Adoption Day?
The purpose of the celebration is to bring to light how many children worldwide are available for adoption. A secondary purpose is to demonstrate to prospective parents how adoption, whether foreign or domestic, is a worthwhile endeavor that will enhance their family just as much as a biological child.
Social workers can support families by increasing their familiarity with available adoption resources. These could include movies about successful adoptions books, and cartoons for young family members. Social workers can reference or direct families to websites of national organizations contain specific information for adoptions in each country, such as the U.S. Department of State’s webpage on intercountry adoptions.. Families need to be prepared for a multitude of processes as they embark on this journey, including discussing and planning for how they will address citizenship, legal guardianship, and wills, and social workers play a part in supporting families’ needs.
Adoption is a lifelong process. Social workers should be aware that the family will deal with bonding, loss of the biological parent, the absence of health history, and sometimes comments from strangers. No matter how one gets involved, the result is to make the world a better place for our children.
The red thread will lead you to your destiny.
This story was created in partnership with Rutgers School of Social Work's Inclusion, Intersectionality, Diversity, Equity, and Advancement (IIDEA) Committee.
